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<title>i'm sick of wanting love by yoonminoml (fanficloverme96)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047132">i'm sick of wanting love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficloverme96/pseuds/yoonminoml'>yoonminoml (fanficloverme96)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, post part 4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:29:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,358</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficloverme96/pseuds/yoonminoml</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Looking at Momo now, Ryo is reminded of two things.</p><p>The reason they got along in the past.</p><p>And the reason they fell apart now.</p><p>[Set after part 4.]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'm sick of wanting love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BFCentral/gifts">BFCentral</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Spoilers for Part 4.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ryo finds it funny that his family entrusted strangers’ futures into his hands. They really shouldn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Well, he supposes they learnt their lessons now. With everything he did and the charges looming over his head as a consequence, he hopes they won’t plan on entrusting anything to him ever again. It would suit him just fine. They never trusted him before - why would they trust him now?</p><p> </p><p>And to his defence, he <em> told </em>them explicitly he had no interest in managing celebrities, much less idols. But did they listen? Of course not. They thought he needed some experience or whatever it was that spewed out from their mouths that Ryo couldn’t be bothered to remember.</p><p> </p><p>Now, he sits there on the metal chair that is honestly so damn cold on his ass in front of the glass screen that would separate him and his visitor and he just wants to get this over with. He’s not even in a proper prison - <em> yet </em> -; just in tiny jail until the authorities figured out which hell hole they would dump him in. Yet, he has a feeling that whoever bothered to visit him today must have come here to gloat and mock him.</p><p> </p><p>Hell, maybe it’s his <em> beloved </em>older brother. Finally, his older brother could feel a little less like a failure compared to a mess like him. Well, Ryo isn’t about to rain all over his parade today, he supposes. He’s feeling generous. He’ll let him gloat and sneer and mock him until the time’s up and Ryo could get some sleep while he waits for his fate.</p><p> </p><p>Imagine his surprise when the person that soon sits in front of him is not his brother, nor any of his family members.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, it is Momo’s face who he sees.</p><p> </p><p>They stare at each other in silence for a minute. It’s not until the officer next to him raps on the counter that Ryo is reminded that they’re on a limited time.</p><p> </p><p>“Fancy seeing you here, Momo-kun,” Ryo says lightly, “I must say, the grey walls don’t suit your complexion.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t make a habit of visiting jails, no,” Momo answers with a small smile. “How are you, Ryo-san?”</p><p> </p><p>“Quite frankly, bored.” Ryo shrugs. “I’m nearly wishing that they would just get the trial over with so I can figure out if the prison garments would suit me or whether I’ll die faster from boredom or from cellmates threatening to beat me up.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo’s smile tightens. “Always ready to crack a joke, aren’t you, Ryo-san?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s an effective coping mechanism, Momo-kun. You would know now, wouldn’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>They lapse back into silence again - the tension palpable in the air. Looking at Momo now, Ryo is reminded of two things,</p><p> </p><p>The reason they got along in the past.</p><p> </p><p>And the reason they fell apart now.</p><p> </p><p>Momo and Ryo were too different. In the past, it was that difference between them that drew them to one another. They were...exciting to the other. Novel. Thrilling. They didn’t know what to expect from the other person and it was this...alienness that came from not knowing that kept them coming back for more.</p><p> </p><p>Now, it was that very same difference between them that pushed them apart. Once the novelty wore off, all that was left was irritation. Frustration. Anger. For Ryo, who still stood on his fragile raft on a rocky river while Momo found his stability with Yuki, that anger formed into hatred. Momo had been sharing that raft with him all these years and it was them holding onto one another that supported them from falling into the waters.</p><p> </p><p>For Momo to leave him behind without even looking back...Ryo was…</p><p> </p><p>“What did you come here for?” Ryo asks, unsmiling this time, “I didn’t take you as a person who’d come to laugh at other people’s misery.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t come here to laugh at you,” Momo says in a pained voice.</p><p> </p><p>“But you’re probably thinking that I deserve it, aren’t you?” Ryo says, finding a small triumph when Momo flinches a little at his words. “You’re easy to read, Momo-kun. That would one day be your downfall as an idol.”</p><p> </p><p>“If that’s the case, then I don’t mind.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you truly?”</p><p> </p><p>Momo lets out a breath, clearly frustrated. “We don’t have much time left, Ryo-san. I’m not gonna waste this visit by getting angry at you.” He looks at Ryo in the eyes. “I have a question for you. Will you answer it truthfully?”</p><p> </p><p>Ryo stares back at Momo coolly. “Depends on the question.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then I’ll ask.” Momo leans forward. “Do you still hate idols, Ryo-san?”</p><p> </p><p>Ryo exhales.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you asking me that, Momo-kun?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because I’ve heard it from Zool,” Momo replies without missing a beat, “That you came to their Black or White performance. Some fans saw you too. I might be wrong but…” Momo’s lips curl upwards slightly. “The kids from Zool...they said you looked happy. Even if it’s just a brief moment.”</p><p> </p><p>Ryo doesn’t say a word in response, prompting Momo to continue.</p><p> </p><p>“The fact that you willingly went with the authorities for the trial says a lot too. Ryo-san, I…” Momo looks at him with eyes that almost looked pleading.</p><p> </p><p>Almost.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just trying to understand you,” Momo says.</p><p> </p><p>“I doubt me answering a single question from you would help you in that objective,” Ryo points out, not unkindly.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe not, but it’s one step forward.”</p><p> </p><p>There is another silence. This time, however, it is brief and Ryo is the first one to break it.</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re hoping for a ‘no’, then you’ll be severely disappointed, Momo-kun,” he says, sounding tired, “All those years of disliking something can’t be undone by a single experience. Maybe life works like a fairytale for you, but it doesn’t for me. I don’t think I can trust idols. The same way I can’t trust people in general. But.”</p><p> </p><p>He pauses, before finally, allowing himself a tiny smile.</p><p> </p><p>“At least, there’s one group I feel I can root for genuinely this time. That even without me, or perhaps, better without me, they’ll do well. They’ll continue standing strong no matter what comes their way.”</p><p> </p><p>“I see,” Momo says quietly, “Ryo-san, you...you like those kids, don’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Now, now, you said you only have one question!” Ryo sings, “But you know what, since you’re cute, I’ll indulge you. I don’t know when I’ll see you again after all.” Ryo hums, considering. “Like...is still a strong word to describe my feelings for those children, but at the very least, I no longer wish for them to be just a 3-year fad. I hope they last long in the idol industry, or even the entertainment world as a whole.” He grins at Momo. “I hope they’ll last much longer than Re:Vale.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo chuckles. “Well, I hope so too. Zool...I can tell that they’ve changed. They want something for themselves. Genuinely this time.”</p><p> </p><p>“...That’s good,” Ryo says softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Sir, your time ends in less than a minute,” Ryo hears the officer beside Momo say.</p><p> </p><p>“Mmph. I’m just about done anyway.” Momo turns back to Ryo. “Well, I better get going.”</p><p> </p><p>Ryo waves at him. “Go, go. You’re a busy man, Momo-kun. I don’t want to be the one to hold you back.” He smiles to himself. “Not anymore, anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo looks at him with what looked like a sincere expression. “I hope that whatever awaits you, you’ll face it with as much strength and stubbornness as you would any other obstacle, Ryo-san.”</p><p> </p><p>“...Thank you, Momo-kun. That’s very kind of you to say.”</p><p> </p><p>As Momo stands up and is about to turn towards the door, Ryo calls out to him while he still could.</p><p> </p><p>“Momo-kun.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo turns to him curiously.</p><p> </p><p>Ryo gives him another smile, slightly subdued this time.</p><p> </p><p>“You were my first love, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>Momo looks at him through half-lidded eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll miss you, my little peach.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not little anymore,” Momo replies softly, “Nor am I yours.”</p><p> </p><p>Ryo ignores the pain that seeps through his heart in favor of keeping the smile on his face. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos/comments/bookmarks are appreciated and you can find me on Twitter at @tennssi0907 !</p></blockquote></div></div>
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